Secret Equity
by Serenechemnerd
Summary: Somewhere between friendship and courtship things had to change...for better or worse. Callian all the way. T for possibilities later, may change to M eventually :-D
1. Chapter 1

Set just as the Christmas party is ending, spoilers for any given episode (at least in foreshadowing).

Disclaimer: I do not own these charcters. They just visit me while I'm trying not to think too hard.

* * *

"Oi, Foster." Cal Lightman called after his partner as she was walking towards the doors of the office after the Christmas party. She paused and turned towards him, plastering on a masking smile. He noticed immediately but smiled back anyways. "Fancy getting a drink with me?"

"Cal.." She started. _Something is bothering her, and I think it's me_, he thought watching her trying to come up with a lie.

"Before you try, I want to talk to you but I don't want to be here. It's the holidays. Let's go be cheerful." She bows her head slightly, ashamed that she would be trying to come up with a lie. She just wasn't ready to confront what she'd been feeling over the last few days and she had a sneaking suspicion that was exactly what he wanted to talk about.

"Alright, but the first time you make fun of something that makes me happy I'm bowing out, got it?" She points a finger at him and watches him mull this over. He raises his hand to touch his brow before he answers. She resists the urge not to smile.

"Sure Foster. Let's go."

They drive separately and Cal is convinced she has stood him up as he sits alone at the bar for the better part of 10 minutes before she comes in the door. She smiles and it reaches her eyes this time. She leans in and kisses his cheek before sliding into the seat next to him.

"Johnnie Walker black, neat." She says to the bartender. He smiles at her choice.

"So, luv. Tell me what's on your mind." He says turning towards her.

"You're starting this off all wrong Cal." She teases. He frowns. "You're trying to get me to open up without any small talk or chit chat."

"Gillian, we're past chit chat. And you're deflecting." He leans his right elbow against the bar as his brows come together analyzing her every move. She smiles bitterly and knows he'll see it. "See, right there. I know what the emotional response is; I just don't understand why you've been giving me that look all night." He rubs his fingers across his lips in confusion.

"Alright." She says taking her jacket off and turning towards him leaning forward. "Why do most of the people in your life leave you?" She asks abruptly.

"Foster…" He warns. He's even more confused now.

"Because you see everything. It's what makes you who you are, but once you see it you can never unsee it. Right?" He nods and takes another sip of his drink, interested in how she's going to use her psychobabble on him. "What did you see when you were over there?"

"On you?" She nods playing with the glass of scotch the bartender had just delivered.

"Concern, stress, agitation, shame." He reaches for her but she pulls away just a little. "I understand most of those but not the shame. That was actually what _I_ had wanted to ask you about."

"I think you know. I think you know why I felt shame and you want me to say it."

"I do believe that honesty is the best policy." She scoffs at his comment.

"No you don't. You think honesty is the best policy for every one around you while you keep everyone else in the dark. You enjoy being the enigma, while exposing everyone else's past."

"I don't expose yours."

"Not any more."

"Right, so back to the shame." He says not entirely pleased with where he thought the conversation was going.

"You're going to make me say it then?" She asks sighing and dropping her shoulders in defeat. He nods. "Fine Cal. I'm ashamed of how much I need you." She smiles softly as the shock momentarily blurs his features before he covers it.

"What?"

"How many times have you almost died?" She asks morosely.

"I dunno, luv. I lost count after Belfast."

"Exactly. And how many threats to your life have you had in this quarter alone?" She asks gripping her cup tighter, indicating the anger she felt about being helpless in those situations.

"Two at least."

"I can't watch you risk your life. I can't handle not being able to sleep because I'm worried about losing you." She reaches out her hand and lays it on his. "You're the best friend I've ever had. You're extremely difficult but its part of your charm." She takes a huge breath in before continuing. "I can't lose you."

He turns his hand over in hers and captures her hand in his, marveling at the slenderness of her fingers and the warmth she gave off. He smiled.

"You don't have to worry about losing me." He says calmly.

"Yes I do. You're life has been threatened more in four months than most people's in their entire lives." Her eyes shift and her mouth twitches ever so slightly into shame once again. He frowns even harder, if that's at all possible.

"There's something else." He says critically. She tries to withdraw her hand to no avail. She can feel the temperature of her hand changing and watches him take notice of it as he places his other hand on top of hers. "Something you're not tellin'"

"Cal, don't push it." She warns.

"What are you so afraid of Gillian?" He tries to look into her eyes as she bows her head to hide the tears that are threatening to flow forth. He moves his left hand under her chin and raises her face to look at him.

"I'm afraid to need someone again." She lies.

"No, that's not it." He says invasively.

"Why do I have to say it?" She demands, suddenly angry.

"Because, luv, it's your line. If you want to keep the line, then you have to come clean. I can't very well tell you what I see only when you want me to. It doesn't work that way and you know it. Once you open that flood gate, there's no going back." He quips. He watches the emotions roll through her honest face. It was what he loved so much about her. She was a truly honest person, pair that with loyalty to him and an unwavering sense of rightness and he had stumbled upon the best kept secret of a woman in the whole world. He watches the resolve set in her face and knows he's not going to like what she has to say.

"Why did you bring me with you after you left the DOD?" She asks as her opening line. He opens his mouth, and then closes it several times before answering.

"Because you are great at what you do."

"And what would that be?"

"Do I have to say it Foster?" He almost whines.

"Yes, Cal. I want to hear it." She says curtly.

"Read peoples emotional responses and tie them to the emotion they're feelin' and why they're feelin' that way."

"Right." She nods, her hair almost covering her face completely. "So you really want me to define what I see on you, all the time?" He nods, holding his breath waiting for the shoe to drop. "I see love." She says and watches the response. He smiles but doesn't look surprised.

"You know I love you. I call you luv all of the time." He tries to make light of the situation. She smirks, knowing she hit the target.

"You know what I mean."

"Alright, so suppose that I do love you, why the shame?" He bites his finger. _Maybe I was right all along and she doesn't love me, maybe I read all of the signs wrong_, his self doubt that pushed so many people in his life away came bubbling to the surface and placed a look of disgust on his face.

"No, that's not the problem." She says, understanding the emotions that just roiled through his face. "I love you Cal. Really I do." He straightens a little upon hearing that, puffing himself up a little bit. "No, the problem _is_ that I love you." He looks at her with confusion.

"Alright, now you've lost me."

"I want to ask you something, and I'd like you to be honest with me."

"I'll try." He says rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.

"How often do you think of becoming romantically involved with me?" His eyes widen briefly before settling on her eyes. He notices her pupils have dilated since she asked that question and her breathing had become more shallow. He smiles before answering.

"That apparent, eh?"

"Yes Cal."

"So why is that a problem Gillian? What is wrong with that?" He becomes a little hostile, waiting for her to voice the words he fears she thinks about him.

"Because if something happened, if for some reason we didn't work out I'd lose you, forever." She whispers the last word as a tear passes her lid and slides down her cheek.

"You can't lose me forever." He says moving a hand up to her cheek to brush away the tear. His hand slides past her cheek and into her hair. She barely has time to think before he's slid off the chair and brings his lips to hers. She gives into the kiss very briefly before pulling away.

"I can't do this Cal. Really I can't." She grabs her purse and flees before he can watch her response and analyze her.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

Also thanks for all of the reviews! I'm afraid this chapter might be a little fluffier than the last. Enjoy!

* * *

Cal Lightman stares after the woman of his dreams, dumbfounded at what just happened. It takes him the better part of the evening but he manages to get completely drunk before hailing a cab back to the office.

The next morning greets him with a wicked hangover and an invite for him and Foster to go to Vegas. He groans as he listens to the message.

"Oi Foster." He says striding into her office, wearing the same clothes he had on last night. She looks at him a bit confused. "You, Ben and Me. Vegas. We have a case. Let's go."

"Cal…" She starts after him grabbing her coat. "Cal, I'm sorry."

"No explanation necessary. You're still my best friend. Always will be." He says curtly before taking off towards his car. He smiles when he hits the parking lot. "Mind taking me to my car?" He says as she exits the building.

"No problem." She says unlocking her car. She feels the weight of their conversation from the previous night slide over her as he sits in the passenger seat.

"Have a good rest of your night luv?" He asks jokingly. He can see the concern and the lack of sleep around her eyes. She sighs knowing he sees all of this.

"Fine, how about you?" She asks as she slows the car so he can get to his car. He looks at her briefly before smiling and getting out of the car.

"See you at the airport." He says almost cheerily, knowing that he was as much under her skin as she was under his.

"See you at the airport." She parrots back before driving away.

After fold equity

Cal Lightman was drunk, really drunk, for the second time in a week. Sure he'd miraculously won at the roulette table but he should have known when to fold. His choices (and he understood this well before Foster walked off, leaving him watching her instead of the table) were himself or her.

_Most men in their right mind would choose her_, he though bitterly. He was currently standing outside her door mumbling to himself, about to knock, when Ben opened the door looking very agitated.

"Oh no. Not after I finally calmed her down." He says grabbing Cal by the arm.

"Leggo." He slurred pulling out of Ben's grasp and bruising his arm in the process. "If I wanna talk to 'er, I'll blood well talk to 'er." His accent coming out much thicker than usual. Cal slips past Ben, with the FBI agent hot on his heels.

Even drunk, the site of Gillian's tear stained face causes Cal to pause. She's sitting in her pajamas with tears streaming down her face. She looks up as Ben desperately tries to get a hold of Lightman.

"It's ok Ben." She says dismissing him for the second time that night. Ben frowns. "I can fight my own battles." She says standing. Ben exits again, frustrated. He hears her first sentence before he closes the door.

"You've got a lot of nerve coming here in the state that you're in. What do you want Cal?" The sentence comes out hostile.

"What do I want? Now en't that the question of my life!" He crosses his arms. "Why'd you leave the table?" He asks fiercely.

"Because I can't watch you be reckless with everything we've built. How long has it taken to get us to where we are?"

"Years." He says, no shame, no guilt.

"Why would you want to throw that all away on the off chance that luck will be on your side?" He just looks at her. "Why did you do it Cal? If you can see the problem why continue?"

"Because, Foster, you and I both needed to be reminded that I'm not a good guy."

"That is not an answer and you know it." She crosses her arms. "I think we both know why you did this and I want to hear you say it."

"Alright. A few days ago I crossed your bloody line and you fled." She nods, shame crossing her face once again. "We've been non-dating for months now." When she looks confused he explains. "We've been spending so much time together and neither of us are dating anyone else. Essentially we're dating without the benefits of dating. Thanksgiving being the prime example. We felt like a family." He tries not to read her surprise but can't help it in his state. "Well a few days ago I tried to push us one way or another and it worked. It worked splendidly. It pushed you away. So I'm folding on the relationship I want with you. You won't take a gamble that I'm a changed man so why continue to change? Why be a better person for someone when they don't feel the same for you?" He throws his hands up in defeat and sits on the couch with a hand over his eyes. She moves to sit on the couch with him.

"So your masochistic side came out as risking our financial security, so that you could prove that you aren't who you try to be?" She succinctly restates his explanation. He looks at her a little blurrily, the alcohol and the couch making Cal feel sleepy all of the sudden.

"Yup. Did it work Foster?" He asks.

"Not really. All it did was cause me to leak like a facet and Ben to have a horrible last night in Vegas. He might agree that it worked but I don't see it that way." She was calming down, he could tell in her voice. "Look Cal, I've been mad at you before. Mostly when the bank called me to tell me about the loan. I've been your friend for years and I know you better than you'd like me to. We still have some trust issues, but I think you'll always have trust issues. I've been thinking about what happened before we left for Vegas but I'm not going to talk to you about it when you're this drunk and I'm still upset." She sighs.

"Alright luv. In the morning then, yeah?" He says quietly.

"Yes Cal. We'll talk more in the morning." She moves off the couch so he can lay down, fully clothed. "At least take your shoes off." She comments before walking into the bedroom and shutting the doors.

Cal passes out into a blissful sleep while Gillian sits in the other room trying to get a hold of her emotions.

Her inner dialog as she prepared for bed was mostly berating herself for promising something to Cal that she wasn't sure she could deliver. She knew that she could deny her subconscious most of the time, unless it came to chocolate, but lately with Cal she just didn't want to ignore it any more. They were best friends but there was passion too.

Gillian knew that Cal didn't think he was worthy of her, long before Eric had taken him hostage. It was there in the way he held back most of the time. In the shame he did show was mostly around her when he did things he didn't think she'd approve of. She wasn't sure if Cal thought anyone was good enough for her. Part of her hesitation was the pedestal Cal had put her on so that no one could touch her, especially not him.

_Maybe 'pedestal' is the wrong word,_ she thought, _maybe sheltering me from the bad things in the world._ Gillian had told Cal enough from her responses to cases that she hadn't had a great childhood. Gillian shook her head, trying to clear the deeper thoughts before climbing into bed.

The next morning greeted Gillian with a creak of the door to her bedroom and the light streaming in.

"Mornin' luv." He says downright cheerily for a man still in his suit from the previous night. She frowns at him. "I've ordered some coffee and food, care to join me?" He opens the door wider. "Or I can bring the coffee to you?" He suggests.

"What is wrong with you?" She asks bluntly. He was never this nice, especially not in the morning.

"I'm atoning." He says before turning to the cart of food and preparing her coffee. After 6 years they knew each others habits better than their significant others had when they'd both been married. He hands her her coffee and sits on the edge of the bed looking at her expectantly. She frowns, causing him to frown slightly.

"What was that?" He motions to her face. Gillian's mouth thins out a bit, "Oh so you lied last night and we're not going to talk about this?"

"No Cal, I didn't lie. Just let me drink my coffee. I'll be much gentler with some coffee."

"That sounds foreboding." He says moving like he's going to stand, to pull away from her this time before she crushes him again. She reaches out and grabs his hand.

"No its not." She looks at him openly. He sees the honesty in her face and her movements as she raises the coffee to her lips. He smiles a little. They silently enjoy their coffee for a few minutes before Gillian moves towards Cal.

"Alright Cal. I'm ready to talk about this now, about us." She says. He just looks at her. "Ok, so I ran away. You already knew that." She says waving her hands nervously. "But I want to talk about why I really did it." He waits for her to continue. She sighs.

"I fled because I'm afraid. You were right, I am afraid to take a gamble on you, on us."

"Why Gillian?" He asks. "Why are you afraid?"

"Because you see so much. Can you honestly tell me that you could turn that off?"

"No, I can't." He sighs. This was the same argument he and Zoë had had before the divorce. "But I try to with you. I try." He says honestly shifting uncomfortably. "Speaking of seeing too much though, you see too much too you know?" He thinks back to the night at the bar.

"Do I now?" She says trying to hide the pride as it radiates off of her at his comment.

"I didn't mean for you to take it that way."

"And yet that's exactly how I'm going to take it." She says smiling, feeling them slip back into their friendship as easily as putting on a favorite sweater. She sobers a little before speaking again. "So we're both going to keep the line there as much as we can?" She asks.

"Parts of the line." He nods. At her look of confusion he grins full out and pulls her hand towards him, pulling her to him. "Parts of the line are going to disappear completely." He says before leaning into her.

Cal stops a fraction away from kissing Gillian, making it her decision to close the small gap, to take that inevitable step. She moves that last fraction tentatively brushing her lips to his.

The kiss starts out small and chaste but the years of passion and frustration come crashing down on both of them. Within a minute the exploration of each other has changed drastically as Cal rolls Gillian on top of him. She things about pulling back but with his hands in her hair and his lips and tongue demanding on hers she return the passion she barely even registers that she should be struggling against him. He smiles and lets her pull away.

"Not quite proper, is it luv?" He asks staring up at her. She smiles shyly, biting her bottom lip. "Always the proper one." He says sitting them up. She ends up standing next to the bed with Cal wrapped around her waist. Her hand combs through his hair absentmindedly as her brain tries to wrap around what just happened. He hugs her tightly once more before standing.

"Well then." He says clearing his throat. He takes note of her curiosity, which he hadn't expected. He's expected shame or guilt or worry of some kind. He smiles broadly and she shakes her head, seeing the pride he feels. "Alright luv. We've got a plane to catch." He smoothes a finger across her brow. He can't resist pulling her close one last time and this time she initiates the passion before pulling back as abruptly as he did. "When we get back to DC I'm taking you out for real." He says walking towards the door. "See you soon, luv."

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing but I get to play in their world every now and again.

* * *

Two weeks after returning from Vegas...

Gillian was running late. It was 7 pm on a Friday night and she'd barely gotten out of the office in time to beat Cal to her place. His case had ended the previous day and he'd skipped out early, claiming some special things had to be prepared for their date.

The door bell rang just as Gillian was zipping up her dress. She looked at the clock: 7:03, _not bad_, she thought. When she opened the door she was greeted by a house plant and a finely dressed Englishman. She smiled opening the door wider.

"Did I interrupt something?" He motioned at her stocking feet and missing jewelry. She smirked at him. "I saw that."

"Just had to rush out of the office. Case still isn't where it should be." She put the plant on her dinning room table. "Thank-you for this." She says genuinely.

" 'Ang on a minute, luv." He pauses briefly behind her to finish zipping her dress. Gillian shivers as he moves his fingers inside the dress to button the top button. "There you are." He says smoothing his hands across her shoulders.

"Let me just finish up." She says moving to finish putting on her jewelry and grab a pair of shoes. "So mister, where is this mystery place?" She says as she grabs her coat.

"Let me luv." He says moving to help her. "Well it's still a surprise, 'ent it?" He says taking her hand.

Gillian looked from her hand to his then up to his expectant face. She'd been putting this off as long as possible. Things had settled back in at work. They avoided each other more than usual which probably just set off all of the alarms of their coworkers indicating _something_, was going on. Although Cal had heard the rumor going around that Gillian was upset with him. _Obviously Loker had been watching those damn tapes more than he should_, Cal thought as they stepped out into the night.

Finally Cal had cornered Gillian late one night and when she didn't say no to a date Friday, they had finally set up their first real date.

Cal could feel the fine tremble Gillian had as he held her hand until they got to the car. He pulled her back to him wrapping his arms around her as she tried to get into the car, almost leaning her against the car.

"What's the matter luv?" He asked cocking his head to one side. Her breath was short too. Her eyes shifted quickly away from his. "Afraid? Confused? Nervous?" She flinched ever so slightly, "Why nervous luv? It's just me." He says smiling as he grips her tighter. She smiles slightly.

"I know Cal, that's why I'm nervous." She smiles shyly. Slowly a smile slides onto Cal's face, growing in intensity until he is full out beaming.

"And here I was thinking you'd end up with some buff Ivy League guy." He teases as he reaches behind her and opens the door for her. She gives him an odd look as she gets in.

"And here I though you went to Oxford and were Ivy League." She eyes him as he settles into his seat. He looks taken aback a moment before giving a true Cal smile.

"Does that mean you think I'm buff too?" He raises his eye brows at her quickly with the same grin on his face.

The drive is quick and Gillian has an inkling feeling about where they're going. When he opens the car door she gives him a look.

"You took me back to work?" She says, with a hint of disappointment but enough amusement to egg Cal on.

"Well luv, it's what kept us together this long, I figured we should start here." She gives him an odd look then moves past the front doors. When she turns towards the lab he moves his hand to the small of her back and steers him towards his office. She gives him a side long look as he keeps his hand there as the walk towards his office. "We're going to do a little experiment."

"Cal…" Gillian warns. She has no idea what he has but she's loath to be his experiment.

"Give it a minute luv." He says taking her jacket. "We will go back out but I wanted to show you this first." He opens the sliding door to his library and ushers her in. She smiles noticing he's tidied and sits on the lounge chair with her legs crossed. He puts a reel to reel film up and starts it playing. Gillian looks at Cal confused at first until she hears the sound of her own voice.

"Wow, it's always so odd to hear how you sound to other people." She comments.

"So this might make you a little uncomfortable at first." She looks at him with confusion. "You know I record everything; bad habit really. But it gives me a chance to catch the things that I've missed." The video keeps rolling.

_Two years previous_…

"_We really should get more help. We're getting a little over worked." Gillian said entering Cal's office one gloomy spring morning. Gillian was wearing black, as though her outward appearance should reflect the weather. More likely it reflected her mood._

"There, did you see that?" Cal asked as they sat in his library.

"Elevated heart rate, dilated pupils. Nothing new to see Cal. You'd been having that reaction to me since we met." She states. He tries to hide the smile and fails. She opens her mouth then smiles back seeing the pride he has in her.

"Right, well watch this next part." He begins the film again.

_Cal walks to stand against his desk on the other side, putting him much closer to Gillian. She hands him his coffee and looks at the photo he has projected on his wall. This was their morning routine. He found the photos and she helped ID them. Today she studied it longer than usual. It was a picture of Cal from his college years. Years before he'd learned to be an expert liar._

Gillian focused on Cal, which at the time she was unable to do.

"_I don't think I've ever seen this picture." She says pointing to it but not taking her eyes off of it. "You were so young." She sips her coffee and focuses not on her friend but the emotion he was trying to conceal._

_Cal's eyes flickered over Gillian appreciatively. "What do you see luv?"_

_Gillian frowns slightly, puzzled by what she initially thinks she sees. He's smiling but not truly smiling. There is a great sadness behind the smile._

"_Sadness." She barely breathes. "Something sad is weighing you down, but who ever took the picture didn't notice it."_

_In the film Cal shifted, hunching over his coffee even further than he already was. Gillian stole a side glance at him and knew she was right. She moved over towards him and put her coffee down._

"_Do you want to tell me about it?" She says smoothing a hand down his arm._

"_You're not my shrink." He tries for joking but it just came out hostile. Gillian doesn't even flinch._

"_No, I'm not. I'm your friend. And if someone missed a look like that on me, I'd want someone to call me out on it." She slid her hand into his and squeezed momentarily before letting go. She turned back to the photo to see if there was something even larger she was missing._

Gillian watched the film as Cal's face showed a range of emotions she'd missed that day. He was good at hiding when he was interrogating but when he thought no one was looking he didn't do a particularly great job of hiding himself.

_Cal's face softened and he closed off his body as he watched her analyze him. His face then moved to momentary shock before he grinned._

"_You are a great friend. One of the best I've ever had." He said in the film._

Cal stopped the film and came to stand behind where Gillian was sitting. He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "See I told you, it wouldn't be that bad of an experiment. Now tell me what you saw in the second part."

"You realized something talking to me that day." She turns towards him and watches him bite his bottom lip and nod. "That was the day you realized you love me." She made it a statement. He nods again. "You said that you figured it out while going through old videos." She says puzzled.

"Who do we lie to the worst of all?" He asks reaching for her hand. She stands and Cal starts to move through his office and out of the Lightman Group building guiding Gillian with him.

"Ourselves." Gillian states without a moments pause. "Your emotions realized it before you ever did and you caught it on the video?" She asks shocked. He pauses at the door way and turns to look at her.

"Yup. Ready for dinner?" He asks holding the door for her.

"Absolutely." She says walking out into the night.

TBC... Sorry this is so short. Having a bit of a problem getting the characters right.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Not my characters, I'm just barrowing them.

A/N: Some of the facts I think I've made up (timeline of when Cal and Gillian met and when Gillian got married) but if someone knows the timeline let me know and I'll fix it. Enjoy!

* * *

Dinner was at a place they went to often. The owners even knew Gillian's propensity for sweets. During initial drinks Cal started a conversation he'd wanted to start for a very long time.

"Why did you get into this business?" He leaned towards her. He'd never asked her about her past even though he knew from her face enough to make him want to protect her from as much as he could. Gillian cleared her throat before talking.

"Well, I first found psychology in high school and it helped me rationalize things in my life that made me unhappy." She took a sip of her drink realizing she was still holding back. "My father was an alcoholic and sometimes he used. It was easy enough for me to stay out of his way but not for my mother. She was unstable in the first place and they would get into these fights that would last for hours. Then she'd leave for a few weeks. It was rough. Psychology gave me a window into the why. And you know how I came into the deception detection program." She smiles remembering.

"That I do." He smirks remembering the day he got a call from a colleague raving about his latest pH D candidate. Cal had refused to listen to his colleague until the DOD gave Cal his own team. It was years later when he called up his friend to inquire about the promising student. "You were how old then?"

"Twenty-eight. I'd just finished my first round of clinicals. My dissertation was finally finished and in comes this slouched over Englishman to offer me a job before I'd even finished my degree." She laughs as he makes a face when she says he slouches.

"I remember how polished you were even then. I was amazed. I think until recently that was one of the only times you read me."

"Cal, I read you all of the time. I've just trained myself not to respond any more."

"Oh you think you have do you?" He grins at her. "It's amazing that we can see past all the lies to find the person underneath." He comments offhandedly.

"It's the lies we tell that show what is underneath."

"I know but I don't want to have that type of relationship with you, luv." He reaches across the table and captures her hand.

"Well unless you're going to start practicing Loker's Radical Honesty, we'll eventually have to lie to one another. Even if it's a white lie."

"What do you mean luv?" He looks puzzled.

"Like, "Yes that dress looks great on you." "Of course I don't mind if we go to your favorite restaurant tonight." "I love dogs and children." "Sure go on vacation without me.""

"You want to go on vacation without me already? Wow this date has taken a down turn fast." He grins mischievously as he strokes the back of her hand with his thumb. She purses her lips while trying not to smile. "We haven't even been on a vacation together yet and you're already looking for your space!" He teases her.

"You know what I mean Cal." His face softens a bit when she says his name.

The rest of the meal is filled with light conversation about work and Emily and Gillian's new found freedom.

"So what is the plan for the rest of the night?" Gillian asks they stand outside of the restaurant. Cal moves his arm around her waist pulling her close while they walk to the car.

"I have your final surprise at my placed." He says opening the door for her once again.

"Wow, you're such a gentleman when you're on a date." She says kissing him on the cheek before getting in.

"Isn't that what you're supposed to do on a date?" He asks puzzled as he starts the car.

"Yes but we've known each other for how long now? About 12 years now. Oh good god that is a long time isn't it?" Cal laughs. "Anyways, I never thought I would be on a date with you opening the car do for me."

"And why is that? Is there something wrong with me?" He asks seriously. Gillian laughs.

"No Cal. When we met you were married, and from the outside, at least, it looked happy. I was very young at the time and thought of you and Zoë as my compass."

"Oh dear lord are you serious?" He asks pulling into his drive. "Now there's a scary thought."

"Well yours was a relatively healthy relationship when we met. And you have to consider what I grew up with. Not exactly normal."

"No wonder your marriage tanked." He teases opening the front door.

"Cal…" She scolds. "I just figured you wouldn't have any interest in me."

"But you saw the attraction." He says puzzled as he takes her jacket and leads her to the kitchen.

"Cal, we're attracted to hundreds of people a week. I didn't start seeing the other emotional responses for years after we first me. Actually mostly since you got divorced."

"Yeah but I saw yours." He says lifting the cover off of a small chocolate cake. It was enough of a distraction she forgot what he said for a moment and stares at the cake. "It's also got pudding on the inside. Do you know how hard it was to find someone to put pudding in a cake?" He says incredulously. She beams and moves to get two plates.

"So what do you mean you saw my emotional responses?" She asked as she cuts the cake. "Oh did you want some?" She teases.

"No. I'll be fine with a scotch." He says opening his cupboard. "What I meant is that you felt something for me long before I felt something for you."

"I did not!" She exclaims far too adamantly. She catches herself and restates, "I have no idea what you're talking about Cal."

"I can prove it to you." He says taking his glass and disappearing into his study. She follows him with her cake. "Oi, no food allowed near the research." He says. She stops at the threshold and smiles.

"What are you looking for?" She inquires.

"Never you mind. I'll find it shortly enough." He sifts through one of his drawers. "Oh, there it is." The photo had been right on top but Cal didn't want to give Gillian any more ammunition than she already had. He hands her the photo. It was at Gillian's wedding. More of a candid shot than anything else. It was of Cal and Zoë, Gillian was offset to the right watching the couple. The sadness on Gillian's face was apparent, along with the strain Zoë felt. Cal looked oblivious to it all.

"I've never seen this picture before." She says taking it from him and studying it.

"No one has." He says sticking his hands in his pockets. "I didn't even show it to Zoë. Had the pictures developed and picked them up myself. I took it out and threw away the negatives claiming the store must have forgotten them." He looks sheepish as he says it.

"I don't think this proves your point." She says showing some anger.

"Are you angry you were caught on your wedding day or that you didn't know?" He asks taking the picture back.

"Both." She says taking her plate back to the kitchen. "Why didn't I know it?"

"Didn't we have this discussion once already today? We're all expert liars to ourselves." He moves up behind her and turns her around to face him. "Why the shame?" He asks brushing an errant strand of hair out of her eyes.

"If you could see it, then it's likely that it leaked out in my marriage. Maybe I am more to blame than I'd like to think." She says.

"This is a no guilt house. You're not allowed to feel guilty here." He moves out of her way as she moves to sit on the couch with her legs tucked under her.

"So you've know for what? Six years now that I've been in love with you?" He sits next to her, close enough to touch. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer.

"Cal." She breathes as his lips touch the skin of her neck. He can't tell without her facial expressions if it's a sign of encouragement or warning.

"Say it again luv." He says, his lips dancing across the delicate skin of her neck.

"What?"

"Say my name again."

"Cal, I thought we were going to discuss this." She says pressing a hand against his shoulder, trying to get him away from her so she could think.

"I think there are some things that need to be shown, rather than discussed." His voice vibrates against her skin. His teeth graze her earlobe and she turns her head to try to look at him. She stops trying to push him away and meets his eyes. The emotion she sees gives her hope and confidence.

"Then show me Cal." She whispers, almost afraid of what is to come. His arm around her shoulders moves her closer to him, embracing her closer. His other hand moves up her arm, stroking the soft skin there before traveling up to her neck and tracing his way softly to her brow. He watches her response closely, filing away what makes her sigh and what makes her gasp. She tries to maintain eye contact but ends up closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling.

His fingers move back down her jaw line, tracing and almost tickling. Cal adjusts himself as he can feel his body reacting, trying to draw her closer. He fights the natural reaction to pull Gillian closer and continues tracing his finger down the front of her throat before dipping one finger into her cleavage. Gillian's eyes fly open at the unexpected touch. He grins broadly and moves his fingers back up her throat to trace her lips.

Gillian can feel her breath coming faster as she watches Cal watch her. This time she keeps her eyes open trying to read every emotion running through his features. At this distance she can see all of it. Love, passion, friendship, but mostly at this point it's all been muddied by arousal. Her lips part slightly as his fingers focus on that small part of her anatomy. He stops tracing her lips and moves them closer before capturing her lips with his, which elicits a gasp from Gillian.

Their kisses aren't gentle, not with so much passion built up over so long. Both try to keep the kisses small and tame but the passion overrides the rational thoughts that kept the two apart for so long. With the line gone, the passion had taken over. Gillian is the first to let out a frustrated noise before breaking away.

"Cal." She says softly.

"I know luv. I feel it too." He says pulling away a fraction before his lips are on hers again. He knows they can't take it much further tonight. He wouldn't scare her off and he did want to hold onto the thrill of newness of a relationship with Gillian for as long as he could. His body ached for hers but then again it had for years now. He lets out a frustrated moan as her hands and arms pull him tighter then break away. "Dangerous, you are." He whispers against her lips. "You take away all of my control with those lips." She smiles and kisses him quickly.

"Maybe you should take me home then?" She suggests trying to move away from him.

"No luv. I can handle this." He says adjusting her so she isn't facing him but still wrapping her in his arms. He moves against the arm of the couch, pulling Gillian with him. "I'm not ready to let you go for the night." He whispers into her hair.

Gillian can feel the affect she's had on him and smiles shyly to herself. She adjusts herself against him, knowing that she is pushing him.

"I told you I didn't think you were a good girl." He says. She can hear the smile on his face. She moves slowly against him again, making the movement more suggestive this time. "Gillian." He warns.

"Yes Cal?"

"Stop that. I would never have thought you'd be such a damn tease when here I am trying to be good." Gillian laughs and settles against Cal.

"It's just that I don't see you lose control all that often."

"So you think that its fun to push when I'm not in control?" He asks.

"No. I think it's fun and feels nice to have you respond to me. Makes me feel good about myself." She smiles.

He moves so his chin is resting on her shoulder and whispers in her ear, "I can make you feel even better." He says against her skin.

"Sounds like a promise to me." She says idly taking his hand.

After a while the nervous sexual energy wears off and its just the two of them enjoying the closeness of being able to hold one another without thinking about the repercussions. After who knows how long Gillian's head started to shift forward as she fell asleep. Cal jostled her.

"Time to take you home luv." He said moving his arms from around her. They stood, adjusting their clothes and Cal smiled and Gillian nervously tugged at her clothes far more than was necessary. "No one can tell." He said jokingly. "You have the benefit of being the girl. No one can tell."

Gillian smacks him playfully on the arm before walking over to get her purse and jacket. The ride to Gillian's is short but Cal plays with her hand while he drives, unable to stop touching her now that he's started. He gets out and walks her to her front door.

"Goodnight luv." He says as he kisses her once more. He steps back smiling at her. "See you Monday." He says.

"Night Cal." She says reaching to open her door.

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, I just play with them for a while.**

**A/N: Merry Christmas. Tried to make this extra long. Hope everyone enjoys it!**

* * *

Four weeks later, 10 dates later and 3rd base flirted at…

It was Friday once again. Cal was headed straight for Gillian's office.

"Stop working yourself so hard." He says entering without knocking. Gillian looks up and smiles. "Come on. Its 6 o'clock, time to leave." He says moving around her desk and pulling her up to him. He kisses her very briefly before grabbing her hand and her coat and dragging her towards the door.

"Let me grab my purse at least." Gillian laughs. "What's the big rush?" She says following him out of the Lightman Group.

"It's a surprise." He says grinning mischievously at her.

"You and your surprises." She smiles and shakes her head.

"And 'ere I thought women who read romance novels like this type of stuff." He teases her while ushering her to her car. "I'll follow you over to your place."

"Can't I change first?"

"Oh alright, I have to stop at the store anyways." He says mysteriously grinning to himself. She eyes him for a second before getting into her car.

By the time Cal gets to Gillian's she's changed and settled into reading a book.

"Damn I missed the show." He says winking at her. "All right luv lets go." He's talking extremely fast and seems a little nervous. _Where on earth is he taking me that would make him so nervous? _She thought to herself as she grabbed her bag. "Oh you should bring the book." He says trying for causal.

"Where are we going Cal?" She asks again getting into the car.

"You'll see soon enough."

"Are you ever going to let me surprise you?" She asks as they drive out of her neighborhood.

"I'll do my best to act surprised, does that count?" He says turning onto the highway.

"I guess that's all I can ask for." She smiles knowing surprising Cal would almost take an act of God at this point.

After a few minutes Gillian starts noticing the route they're taking. She smiles and takes Cal's hand in hers.

"The airport huh?" She says.

"Indeed." He says relaxing a fraction.

"Did you think I'd be upset?" She asks seeing his body relax.

"A little. It's sort of a big assumption to whisk someone away for the weekend when you've only been dating a month or so."

"I think it's romantic. Straight out of one of my novels." She smiles shyly.

"That's what I hoped. Cause otherwise this is a lot of work." He says good-naturedly.

"You know you've really ramped up the teasing since we've started dating." She says as he pulls into valet. "Cal, you're valeting your car? Good god that's going to cost a fortune."

"I really don't care." He says taking a small bag out of his trunk and handing the keys to the staff.

"What's in that?" She asks suspciously. He defiantly doesn't have any of her clothes. "Where did you get my clothes?" He smiles.

"Ah well, you remember that past life of mine that I didn't want to drag you down into?" She nods as they enter the airport. "Well it gave me a certain skill set that allows me to get into locked places."

"You broke into my place?" She asks incredulously.

"Naw luv. And you should see your face." He laughs a little, almost a giggle. _Alright why is Cal Lightman giggling at me_? Gillian thought eyeing him as they approached a ticket counter. "Naw Gillian, I, um, bought some things for you." He looks sheepish as he says it. "Besides it's just for the weekend. If they don't fit I'm sure we can find you more clothes."

"Destination?" The person behind the counter asks.

"St. Martin." He says watching Gillian's face. Her eyes widen slightly in shock before she gives him a brilliant grin. He hands over both their passports and waits. While the ticket person scans and types, Gillian leans closely into Cal.

"Where did you get my passport?"

"Where do you keep it?" He asks. She looks at him intensely waiting for another admission of breaking and entering. "At work. In the safe so Holly can book international flights for us."

"You know, I'd forgotten it was there." She says laughing to herself.

"Here you are sir." The passports and the tickets are handed back to Cal.

"Well then luv, shall we?"

The flight was relatively painless but long. Cal got restless about half way through the flight and started pacing up and down the isles until one of the staff made him stop, telling him he was worrying the other passengers. Cal slips back into his seat and noticed Gillian had finally fallen asleep. He smiles to himself and moves his arm around her pulling her to him in the uncomfortable seats. She murmurs something before drifting back to sleep.

They touch down in the early morning and it takes them the better part of an hour to get to the hotel. Gillian looks a little better than Cal feels but he knows that jet lag will hit both of them soon enough. Thankfully St Martin was close to the same time zone as DC.

Gillian heads straight for the bed when they enter their hotel room. She lays down on it groaning. "Really Cal, only one bed?" She teases him.

"Ha-ha, yeah I brought you all this way to seduce you. Don't worry luv, I have no intention of threatening your purity." She laughs sitting up.

"My purity. Right. Just cause I didn't grow up on the dodgy end of London doesn't mean I was pure." She teases.

"Oh really? Well I know for a fact now that your not the good girl, but I'm intrigued about this non-pure Gillian." He places the bag on the bed next to her. "I'm going to shower real quick and then we're going to go find breakfast."

"Can't we sleep?" She asks.

"You slept on the plane."

"Yeah a little but I know you didn't."

"I'll sleep on the beach later." He says disappearing into the bathroom. "And no peaking." He says almost shutting the bathroom door.

Gillian takes the time to open the curtains and the sliding glass door that leads out straight onto the beach and two lounge chairs. She considers falling asleep on them before she remembers that she wanted to see what clothes he'd picked out for her. She takes out the clothes and hangs them in the closet, having nothing better to do. She's barely gotten to anything that looked like it would fit a girl when Cal steps out of the bathroom.

"Oi, I thought I said no peaking." He teases. Gillian jumps and looks across the bed at Cal, who is only wrapped in a towel. Gillian swallows before grinning.

"You meant no peaking into your shower."

"I wouldn't have minded." He says flopping onto the bed and pulling the bag over to him. "Oh good, you've just reached your clothes. Go on then." He says pushing the bag back to her. She eyes him apprehensively before reaching in again. There are two sleeveless linen shirts, one cream and one coral, a pair of jeans and two bathing suits. One a small bikini and one is a one piece. She looks at him and smiles.

"Nice taste, Cal." She grins impishly. "Well I, for one, am ready for breakfast. I'm going to go change in the bathroom and freshen up while you dress k?" She moves around the bed. Cal turns over and sits up grabbing her hand as she tries to pass by. She squeezes his hand slightly before moving onto the bathroom.

Finding a place early in the morning to serve breakfast became quite the task. Finally they found another hotel that was serving coffee at least. After a short time they gave up and returned to their hotel to order room service.

"Time for a swim?" Gillian asks after they'd eaten. He cocks his head to the side and looked at her intensely.

"Sure luv whatever you want. 'Ent much else to do on this island anyways."

"Oh there's shopping and gambling."

"Gambling did you say?" He perks up.

"Yeah but not the dangerous Vegas type." She says moving to the bathroom to change. "I prefer to swim thank-you."

Lightman changed into shorts and a button up shirt. He believed in protection from the sun and he surely wasn't actually going to go swimming. He sat out on the lounge chair waiting for Gillian. A staff person came by to take their order and Cal ordered some fruity island drinks for both of them. He pulled out his manuscript and infamous red pencil and was completely engrossed before Gillian emerged from their room.

"Come swim with me?" She asks holding her hand out for him. He lowers his sunglasses slowly and whistles.

"Damn Gillian, I have good taste." He smirks as he looks her up and down in the bikini he'd picked out. "I don't swim." He says as she keeps her hand outstretched.

"Well you do with me." She says walking closer and taking his hand. He begrudgingly stands putting down his work. She smoothes her hands up his chest and around his neck smiling as she leans in to kiss him.

"It's a really good thing you're so hot." He says breaking away from her. She grins even wider as her fingers deftly unbutton his shirt. "Good lord where did you learn to do that without a man noticing?" She just laughs and pulls his shirt off before pulling him towards the ocean.

"How do you have enough energy to do this?" He says turning his back on a wave and moving slowly towards Gillian in the water.

"It's beautiful here. Hard to resist."

"Sort of like this woman I know." He says bringing his arms around her and crushing her to him.

"Should I be jealous?" She teases.

"Maybe." He says. "I'm getting out." He says dragging her with him. "Time for that nap on the lounge chair."

"I can't picture you napping. Ever." She says as she towels off.

"Well today I'm going to." He says settling into the chair and putting his shades on. Gillian smiles and pulls her book towards her.

After an hour Gillian sets her book down and collects their stuff before shaking Cal's shoulder.

"Time for lunch."

"No Foster, time for napping." He says yawning.

"Cal." She says knowing exactly what she's doing to him. She watches his face twitch slightly as he tries not to smile. "Come on, join me?" She says suggestively.

Another hour later they're clean again and ready to explore the island a bit. Cal looks worse than he did before the nap but he smiles at Gillian as they exit the hotel.

"And here I thought we were doing something a little more scandalous than going out to lunch." He says with his hand on her back as the walk down the lane. She just laughs. Lunch is followed by more walking around, by which time Cal is thoroughly frustrated.

"I know that face." She says as she looks into another window full of clothes. "That's the face that says you're indulging me. Like when you bring me a slushy back from the carts."

"Naw luv, this is the look of boredom." He says watching her.

"We could go do something more your cup of tea?" She asks. He raises his eyebrows waiting for her to elaborate. She leans into him and watches his reaction as she presses herself against him. She grins and moves away from him before they both do something in public she'd rather not. Kiss and holding hands was fine for public consumption but making out on the side walk was hardly what Gillian had in mind. Cal shakes his head slightly as she moves out of arms length. "We could people watch." He presses his lips together.

"I 'ave a better plan." He says grabbing her hand abruptly and heading towards their hotel. When they get there he moves to the table and lifts his manuscript before moving back towards Gillian. "I would like your opinion on this." He says.

"Cal, I don't…" She begins as he moves to sit in one of the chairs by the table.

"You don't have to say a think luv, just let me watch you read it." He says looking at her intensely.

"Alright. But only because you never let anyone read your research before you publish." She puts her bag on the chair and sits as she begins to read.

The manuscript is large and takes Gillian the better part of two hours to read, with a few breaks thrown in. She doesn't try to read it for errors but content only. She knew he didn't need someone crossing his Ts and dotting his Is.

Cal watched Gillian as she read his latest research on reading body language and how it was the language most ignored. He was trying to bring to the surface that we ignore a million different indicators, manipulators, relaters and other –ors but it is the one language that could connect us all. His primary focus was on how hiding from oneself can lead to a half life. One that is driven by the need to protect oneself and how that affected the physical health of a person.

Gillian finally looks up at Cal, becoming aware again of him. She had years of practice at ignoring him. Sometimes it was like he didn't realize he was attached to his body and that people could still see him. She smiles.

"What did you see?" She asks.

"Confusion at first but once it got to the main thesis you put the pieces together. Overall you liked it but you feel that something is missing. Or lacking."

"Its great science." She says. "But part of what we do is relate the human to the science. You never really brought together how this concept could be utilized for the entire world."

"Isn't it obvious?" He asks perplexed.

"Sure, to you and me but to the people most likely to deploy this, probably not."

"Well that's why they pay me." He says waving a hand in her direction dismissing the suggestion. He doesn't miss when her lips thin just a little. "What was that?"

"You know what that was." She says handing the paper back to him. "Don't ask my opinion if you don't really want it." He gets up and crosses the room to get a glass of water. "I think its good." She says as he walks back over.

"I'll take it into consideration." He says honestly standing next to her.

"Thank-you." She says quietly. She knows how much she's just hurt him. She stands and faces him with a weak smile. He gives her a watery one back just before she leans up and kisses him trying to wipe the hard look from his face. He reaches past her to place the glass on the table before encircling her in both his arms. Her fingers drag through his hair, relishing the soft texture and the length. She smiles to herself realizing how much its grown since they started dating. _He needed to get it cut, _comes the thought.

"What luv?" He asks against her lips. He peers down at her curiously. She moves her hands through his hair again. He smiles and closes his eyes briefly before opening them again, the question held on his face still.

"I was just thinking about how much your hair has grown since we started dating." He laughs and pulls her to him crushing his lips down on hers more forcefully this time. She presses her body against his trying to walk him backwards, towards the bed. Eventually he gets the point and moves quickly, breaking away from their embrace briefly before pulling her to him.

Cal sits on the bed running his hands up the back of Gillian's shirt, trying to touch as much skin as possible. Gillian moves so she is straddling Cal's lap while he plays with the skin of her back. He moves his scruffy face against the soft skin of her neck as her hands move up his chest, around his shoulders and then down his arms. Her hands travel that pathway several times before his kisses begin a torturous path from her ear to her sternum.

Gillian's hands and fingers once again move to Cal's hair tugging there so she can see his face. Cal looks up at Gillian, his breath catching as it comes faster as he looks into her eyes.

"Please?" Gillian whispers. Confusion crosses Cal's face.

"Please what?" He asks.

"Please can I have you?" She watches his response. This close and this aroused he can't hide his response to her.

"You always have had me luv." He smiles devilishly at her as he rolls her under him while pushing them further onto the bed. He presses his body against hers feeling her respond in kind. Her hips come up to meet his mimicking his subtle movements with much larger ones. His lips come down on hers demanding entrance which she happily grants moaning at the touch. They both rock against one another in a rhythm neither of them had ever experienced with the other before but felt so right that their movements seemed to meld into one another creating a peak in the excitement within minutes.

Gillian once again managed to get Cal's buttons undone without him noticing before her hands moved up his chest and around his shoulders peeling the linen off of him. He gasped at the touch moving his hands to her shirt and undoing the buttons not as skillfully. Finally with a small frustrated growl he managed to get the garment open. Slowly he lowered himself against her, their skin touching. Gillian gasped then laughed.

"What?" He asks rolling to his side slightly before nuzzling her neck waiting for an answer.

"I feel like I'm in college again." She giggles before pulling Cal back for another scorching kiss. He laughs with her even as they're kissing as they continue to undress one another. When their bare skin is touching from hip to chest Cal stops and pulls back to look at Gillian.

"Are you sure luv?" The doubt that was always there concerning Gillian clouds his features once again. Gillian shifts her hips bringing Cal into her ever so slightly, biting her bottom lip a little but never taking her eyes off of his.

"Does that answer your question Cal?" She asks her face and eyes giving every indication that she wants this as much as he does. Cal rests his forehead on hers before he starts their rhythm once again. He brings her several times over before following her into ecstasy never once taking his eyes from hers. He collapses on top of her panting, resting his face in her neck. Gillian laughs which causes Cal to moan and move away from her.

"So that's what I've been missing." She smirks at him. He pulls her close and breathes her in.

"That's what we've both been missing luv." He whispers smiling at her.

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, I just play with them briefly.

A/N: I seem to have lost my muse for this story…I will hopefully give it an ending but its coming much slower now. Sorry for all of the delays! Also sorry its so short!

* * *

Five months later………

It was well into the evening at the Lightman group. The current case that had just closed was for the justice department and had buried The Lightman Group in paperwork. The majority of work performed in the office was paper work with a little interrogation sprinkled in to keep things interesting. Usually the lab handled the majority of the paper work; transcribing both the conversation and the tone of facial expression plus the frequency changes when the voices spiked above baseline.

This particular night Gillian and Cal were left reviewing the work by the lab before turning it over to the DOJ. Half eaten cartons of Thai food sat on the small table near Lightman's couch. Currently Cal was sitting on the far edge and Gillian was almost laying down and having kicked her shoes off had her feet tucked under Cal's leg for warmth. Gillian's eyes were glued on the tape, which she paused every few moments to make notes in the file for Loker to correct if need be, whereas Cal's eyes were glued on Gillian.

"There." She said pausing the tape again looking at the defendant. It was a man in his mid thirties that had been put away for life for homicide. The Lightman Group had confirmed that he was lying but the judge had gone for a lighter sentence than usual which put the DOJ on the alert, meaning that not only did they look into the criminal's behavior; they also looked into the judge's. "Did you see that?" She asks looking into Cal's eyes. He raises his eyebrows noting the lit in her voice and the sarcasm that came with it.

" 'Course I saw it." He said cheekily.

"And what did you see?" She challenges, sitting up slightly leaning into Cal. It was well past 10 pm and they had assumed that everyone had gone for the day and Gillian had defiantly let her guard down.

"A hopeless romantic watching a convict. You always show compassion when you see fear. It's a common human response, you sympathize. Although I just read somewhere that that trait is going away." Cal continues to watch Gillian. " Shall we finish this and actually leave before midnight this week?" He suggests. Gillian nods before leaning back again.

About half an hour later Cal is bored and Gillian is just about asleep. Cal grins wickedly to himself as his fingers inch up the inside of Gillian's thigh. She shifts her body and gaze towards Cal, more of a warning than an invite.

"What?" He tries to act innocent.

"I'm pretty sure you haven't been innocent since primary school." Gillian says laughing. They are both grinning at each other when a guest walks right into Cal's office unannounced.

Torres walks in without making much noise, startling her bosses from their flirtatious state. Cal retracts his hand immediately but not quick enough and the embarrassment Gillian feels can be read by anyone not just a natural human lie detector.

"Hey bossman, I found something you should see." Ria ignores what she just saw and moves to pull up a video file on Cal's computer. "The judge is an expert liar but his body isn't quite there. He has two shrug fragments leak out and watch this facial twitch when asked about the pay-off." She pauses as the judges face contorts into both fear and disgust. Cal launches himself, as per usual, from the couch towards Torres. Ria had finally learned to stand her ground. When she didn't give Cal the gestural retreat he was looking for to intimidate her he smiled, _more of a baring of teeth really, _Ria thought to herself.

"Nice work Torres, now go home. What are you doing here anyways?" He pries.

"Catching the two of you making googly eyes at one another." She teases as she makes her way to the door.

"Out." Cal points at the door in feigning anger. "And not a word." He says grinning like a fool as Ria exits. "Can you believe the cheek on the girl?"

"With you as her mentor, yes." Gillian laughs getting up from the couch and putting her shoes back on. "Well I guess it had to happen at some time."

"Really? I was hoping we'd be married with kids before anyone found out. As daft as this bunch is." He says offhandedly. Gillian gapes at him. _Did Cal really just say me and marriage and kids in the same sentence? Naw, I must have imagined it._ Gillian thought.

"What was that?" He asks.

"You know what that was." She retorts approaching him. When she wrapped her arms around his neck she ties to give the best blank face she could to Cal Lightman. She fails and smiled broadly.

"Now that was the response I was going for." He whispers moving in to kiss her lightly.

"Some day you'll have to talk to me honestly about marriage."

"You mean since I've sworn it off?"

"Yes Cal." She reprimands.

"Some day luv. When I'm three sheets to the wind, sure. But not tonight."

"But not tonight." She says kissing him lightly before trying to extract herself from his arms. He almost lets her go before drawing her back in one last time. "Well it's a school night so I'm going home, to my place. I will see you tomorrow Cal." She kisses him and hugs him tightly one last time before leaving.

TBC… I have at least 1 more idea before I'm out. I need more LTM dang it!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Not my characters.

A/N: The story starts off kinda awkward, bear with it..it will get better. Also thank-you for all the encouragement! Especially yennayers, SassyCop and Nr. Six (not to diminish anyone else). Such lovely encouragement from everyone! The comments keep this going. Hopefully my job will make me over stressed soon so I escape to my little Callian world more frequently! Or more LTM will air soon! Either, I'm sure, will inspire! (Wow I used a lot of !!!!! in those last few sentences...I'm just excited there is another chapter.) Enjoy!

* * *

"Cal, we are not talking about this any further while at the office." Gillian exits Cal's office with him hot on her heels.

"Come on Foster, we need to talk about this, why not here?" He grabs her arm before they get out of the small hallway leading to Cal's office. She spins and looks at her boyfriend, _my boyfriend,_ flashes through Gillian's mind. She smirks to herself, after the question he'd just posed to her the word seemed a little juvenile.

"Why do we have to talk about it _right_ this moment? We have cases."

"You know as well as I do that the cases will wait."

"Well so will this." She hisses. Heidi, Cal's receptionist had practically run away when the two had exited Cal's office. They'd been fighting on an off for about a week now. The whole office breathed a sigh of relief when they'd realized it was a three day holiday weekend.

"No it won't."

"Why not? Because you don't want to wait for an answer." She watches his mouth twitch just enough to indicate she'd hit a nerve. "I'm sorry Cal, that was uncalled for, but can't we discuss it this weekend?"

"Naw, I have Em this weekend. No privacy." He says. He watches Gillian set her jaw, effectively drawing her line in the sand. "Fine you win but I want to talk about it before you leave."

"Fine Cal. I'll see you later." He kisses her cheek before releasing her arm and watching her storm off.

Gillian manages not to have another incident with Cal for the rest of the afternoon, which lulls the office into a peaceful state before they all leave for Labor Day weekend. Gillian moves through the now deserted halls towards Cal's office, determined to win this argument. When she enters he's reviewing a video for his case. He stops the tape and turns the projector off but stays firmly on his side of the desk.

"Well?" He says pressing his lips together. _Sometimes I just don't understand women, _he thinks briefly before leaning back further in his chair.

"Well, I think your idea would make me happy." She starts which causes Cal to beam momentarily before he realizes she is continuing. "But I think you're doing this for that reason only, not because you actually want what you're proposing."

"And 'ow would you know what I want?" He says dejected, trying to put as much hostility into the question as he possibly can. Gillian frowns.

"Because I've been your partner here for six years and know you for twelve years now." She crosses her arms across her chest indicating she was retreating even further from him.

Cal gets up and comes to sit next to Gillian in his chairs facing his desk. He extracts one of her hands and slow brings it to his lips. Gillian sighs, knowing that it would be impossible to stay in the state she was in but knew she had to stand her ground.

"I would do anything for you luv." He says, his lips tickling her knuckles.

"And that's my point exactly. I don't want you to do anything for me but be there for me. Just you and just me. I'm really ok with the situation we've got."

"I will never understand women." He says as she withdraws her hand. Cal stands up, turns the projector back on and moves around his desk to pulls up the video of their first discussion. He plays it forward: his proposal, her blow up, the whole bit. He rewinds it to just after he asks his question. "See, right there. I know you want this. Its something you've dreamed of. Why don't you want that with me?"

"Oh so this is how we're going to play? Fine Cal. I've been doing my own homework." She moves around his desk and enters her password and pulls up the files in her server. Cal looks critically at the video she's pulling up. They're off of his drive where he stores all of the surveillance tapes.

"Oi, how did you get my password?" He says as she pulls up video of him throughout the past few years.

"It's not like you were very original." She says dryly as she plays Cal ranting. "There." She points to the screen on his wall. "Right there. Do you see that?" He shakes his head "no" but Gillian knows he sees. "This is what I've seen over and over and over the past few years. You don't want this, and Cal." She says turning towards him. "I'm ok with that. You're a package deal. I knew that going in."

"What if I said you've changed my mind?"

"You haven't. I love you and you love me. I see it, really I do. You don't need to do this." She says wrapping her arms around him.

"But I want to give you everything."

"Well Cal, this is one thing you can't give me." She kisses him lightly. "Although I do think your offer is genuine, I don't think its right for us."

"Why not? We've still got time."

"Where is this coming from?" She says clinically as she looks him square in the eye.

"I love you." He says, as if it's the only explanation he needed. "You know I could just do it without you." He says moving his hands up her back. Gillian laughs full out.

"I'd like to see that." She says. He smiles at her reaction before sobering again, his face asking the same question he'd posed to her at the beginning of the week.

"Why don't you want to have a child with me Gillian?" He asks. Gillian sighs at the seriousness Cal wears as he asks the question for the fourth or fifth time.

"I would love to Cal. But you don't want any more kids." At her comment Cal shakes his head no but Gillian knows how he feels. "Plus aren't we a little old to be having this discussion?" Cal laughs.

"Well maybe I am but my trophy girlfriend isn't. She's still quite young and full of life."

"Hey I'm not that young." She says defensively.

"You're younger than me." He says inclining his head.

"True, but that doesn't mean that I should be having children. Plus you don't really know the circumstances as to why I never have had any." She says drawing a long breath.

"Sure I do. You just wish I didn't." He says locking his arms around her tightly, knowing that she became shy whenever talking about her perceived inadequacy as a woman. "I know you feel responsible but you're not. Plus I think we'd make a handsome couple." He says leaning into her and placing his forehead on hers. "I love you and I know this is your dream." He pulls back briefly. "And I am not about to stand in your way of a dream, so if you don't want it with me or don't think I want it with you then find someone who does want it."

"Wha? Cal, that's not what I meant." She says as she grips him tighter making sure he's not going anywhere, even if his words implied that he was.

"I know luv but I truly want you to be happy and I _know_ this will make you happy beyond all reason, much like those ridiculous sugary things you bring to work."

"Cal…" Gillian begins. He leans into her and captures her lips with his silencing any further protests. This was Cal's favorite way to silence his partner now that they were involved. His hands traveled up her back and neck to tangle in her hair, holding her captive. His lips move against hers slowly trying to get her to understand that he wants this with her and only with her as much as she wants it with him. When he pulls away both of them stare at each other from inches away.

"Alright Cal." Gillian concedes. "But with one caveat."

"What's that luv?" He asks smiling like a fool.

"You won't yell at me when I secretly get them contraceptives." She says grinning mischievously at Cal.

"Can I talk sternly at you?" He asks with a lilt to his voice indicating he's not serious.

"No Cal." She sighs returning from the high of agreeing to his proposal. "Do you realize what this means? Not just for me but for us?"

"Yes luv. It means that if things don't go well that we'll have trials and tribulations to survive as a couple." Cal raises his hand to her cheek and strokes it with his thumb. "It means this is more than just a fling or something we did. It has consequences that will test our strength as a couple." He grins again. "I'm not worried luv. If you can take me as I am I can take you any way I find you. Emotional, stoic, lovable, cuddly, angry, sad. Any emotion you can throw at me, I will love you all the same."

Cal's speech gives Gillian pause at first but then grows into a warm, gentle feeling of happiness that she had someone, truly had someone who would be there with her for the ride no matter how painful or horrid. She knew Cal wouldn't turn away from her in her time of need, and that he would likely know it was her time of need long before she was aware.

"I love you too Cal." Gillian says smiling.


End file.
